His Penis Got Diseases From A Chumash Tribe
"I think my syphilis is clearing up."
"And they say romance is dead."
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"We need to boil those and put them through the ricer."
"I don't think I have a ricer."
"You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?"
"Well, do you have one at home?"
"I don't know. What's a ricer?"
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"It is a sham. But it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham."
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"Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater!"
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"You're the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?"
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"I'm sorry, when you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?"
"Hey! She didn't look 50!"
"Did she look 16?"
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"And Dad? You know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboys! Ross did!"
"Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did!"
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"First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!"
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