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Daniel Carlson
Houston, Texas

I love movies, books, music, TV, good food, my wife, my cats, and my dog. (Not necessarily in that order.) I write about whatever's on my mind. For more, go here.

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« SoCal Is Where My Mind States, But It's Not (Quite) My State Of Mind |Main| Tuesday Tough Guys »

January 29, 2007

Deleted Scenes That Would Have Made Me Really Like Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace

Queen Amidala, dejected by her planet's involvement in a murky galactic civil war, becomes a smokin' hot stripper in a pink wig. (Good grief, would this have helped the movie.)

Qui-Gon Jinn attempts to steal the seven-league boots from a local dealer on Tatooine, but eventually becomes so moved by the plight of the oppressed there that he assembles a list of people he plans to save. He becomes obsessed with the list and at one point just bawls like a baby.

Chancellor Valorum gets fed up with Palpatine's meddling and throws him off a balcony overlooking the Valley in the middle of a swanky party. He then briefly dates Lesley Ann Warren before founding Mindhead, a mental health facility to the stars.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, still reeling from the death of his mentor, starts booting heroin between his toes.

Anakin Skywalker gets shot in the face.

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Random Quotes

Words of Wisdom

"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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