Slowly Going Bald

me: if i were a superhero, i would be shovelin dan the shovelin man
i would go around planting trees
and speaking out about the environment
and having anonymous sex with groupies
and i would drive a bus
and i would get in adventures
they would want to make my life into a kids' cartoon, but it would be too risque
Sis: haha
kind of like tek jansen?
me: tek jansen wouldn't be fit to clean the grit from my shovel or wash my sheets, not without extensive training in my shovelin man ways
Sis: haha
you need sleep
me: i can sleep in my bus while jenny drives me to the rally
Sis: who's jenny?
me: duh, sarah
the redhead who's organizing the rally i'm speaking at
she saw my shovelin dan photo and said the image of me in that hat made her feel like a woman should
Sis: wow
just... wow
me:
for i am shovelin dan, the shovelin
MAN
gonna dig me a hole, gonna plant me a tree