In Memoriam
So long, trusty Norelco.
You served me well for five good years, always ready to keep my facial hair neatly trimmed. Your detachable head came in handy when I wanted to trim small areas or maintain my sideburns, which I gamely sported all through college, because I took pride in my ability to grow them. Your sturdy handle, cast in a somehow manly magenta plastic, has been a constant presence in my young adult life.
Why did you die? We'll never know. You were fine before I flew to Houston; I used you that morning, and you didn't complain. True, your battery hasn't been what it once was, and I've had to keep you plugged in all the time, but that was always your way, trusty friend: You served without reservation. Did the flight somehow break you? Did you perhaps just decide it was time to move on? All I have are questions with no answers.
Take care, old friend. Tomorrow morning, a brand new Remington will take your place in my bathroom, but never my heart.
Trim on.
Comments: 4
Just yesterday I was chastising my Norelco for not holding a charge for longer than a day. It hasn't for about 4 years now. Now I'm nervous because it worked well for a solid year, making it the same vintage as your departed groomer. I yell, but I love it. I can't have facial hair without it. My sideburns are a 6, my mustache a 5. My goatee, a 7 or 8, depending on how I'm feeling. My full beard was a 5. No one liked it. My heart goes out to you and your Norelco. I hope your Remington has the same twist-click settings.
I was actually holding the Remington and Norelco next to each other, and I think their click settings are almost the same. The 5 looked pretty identical, anyway. I try to keep my full beard at a 5.
That is the goddamn cutest thing I've ever read. Makes me think of Rusty, the blender that I bought at university in a thrift store for four dollars. Six faithful years until I dropped and smashed his glass pitcher a month ago. So many dicey cocktails. So many hangover smoothies. So many good times.
The deepest love I have now, except for my husband and mum, natch, is for my laptop. His possible demise doesn't even bear thinking about.
Houston ruins everything. Everything
Jun 13, 2007 7:34 PM