Plus It's Really Hot, And There Are Bugs: An Online Transcript
Sis: i was telling co-workers about our pancake diner
they think it's cool
and that we should open it here
but i said the chances of getting you to come back to abilene are slim
me: tell them the chances of me moving to abilene are slim to none, and none just punched slim in the nuts
me: if i won the lottery and my wife heidi klum wanted to move to abilene just so we could have sex beneath the tower of light during watermelons at GSP pledging — i would probably not go
Sis: hahahahaha
holy crap
so that's settled then
it'll be in cali
or austin
me: austin works
just not abilene
Sis: right
me: if my wife kristen bell wanted to move to abilene so she could wear a sandwich-board everyday that said "i will bear all of dan carlson's children, for his love is my sustenance and his body my joy," and if i was given a job as president of acu and allowed to turn the admin building into a house/fort/waterslide — i would probably not go
Comments: 5
First of all, no matter what Kristin Bell says you say "Yes, dear" even if it means going back to Abilene.
Other than that there's no possible way that any sane person would live there.
In other notes, my older brother is moving to Abilene once he finishes his residence next June.
I think you splashed on just a little too much obsession for dorks:)
Ouch.
You lucky few who have made it "Out" should really be more kind to those of us stuck here...
If my wife, Audrey Tatou, asked for me to take her to Abilene so she could see where I went to college, I would say, "Sure, just let me finish this book."
Then I would spend the night weeping, knowing that my impending suicide would mean I would never find out how Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell ended.
I actually made a contract, forcing a promise from Dan Barcroft, as I was leaving Abilene, that if I ever set foot in that town again, he was to kick me in the balls as hard as he could.
My cousin is a man of his word.
-Jon.
Excellent stuff. I can't stop laughing. Also, we want to marry the same people so that's pretty cool.
Aug 22, 2007 7:52 AM